Many of you know that I have not been doing well for many months now. My diabetes has worsened and I now have to give myself shots. And I hate shots to the point that my subconscious tells me to forget them, which makes the diabetes even worse.

My eyesight has started to worsen. I have to put the computer on the largest magnification to even see what I am typing.

The overall body pain that mimics fibromyalgia is also associated with the diabetes.

I have to stand to use the computer because sitting causes more pain than I can handle. Riding in a car is torture. I have to stop every 15 minutes or so and walk around the Jeep a few times for the pain to go away.

The only position that is comfortable is standing and walking. You can imagine that I get very little sleep.

I can get no pain pills because all the doctors are afraid to prescribe for fear they will lose their license. Ohio is the worst state for illegal drug abuse and unfortunately they don't distinguish legitimate prescription pain pill users with those people who sell them to people who are hooked on them and need them for a fix.

In the middle of all of this, my Jeep died. The damage was substantial and so was the bill. I was fortunate that several of my larger donors had sent me checks for exactly what the bill came to... a little over $1500.00. But the problems didn't stop there. I finally realized that I had to retire my 20 year old Jeep and find a reliable car.

I borrowed the money from Paypal and found a newer Jeep that I could afford. The agreement I made with Paypal was for them to take 25% out of every bit of money I receive.

And then there was the news that I had not paid for the RMN server in 8 months... I really thought that I had. I had to raise the money is less than two days or RMN would be no more.

I thank everyone who heard the call and helped out.

This time it's my electricity that will be turned off if I don't raise the money right now to pay the bill which is over $600.00.

It will soon be followed by the phone bill which is also my internet connection.

I try very hard to keep all the balls in the air... but with my health problems and the pain, sometimes I just can't.

My husband David died of agent orange related diabetes and heart problems. Years ago the news came out that the men coming back from Viet Nam were passing agent orange on to their wives. I am going down the same road that David went down, but mine is not as advanced as his was... yet!

I am writing to tell you why I have not found another way to supplement my income so that I don't have to come to you constantly for help. And I need help now.

For those who know me and have followed RMN for many years, you know that I would not be absent if I could help it.

If you feel moved to help me, I will be very grateful.

Thank you,

Rayelan