To read NUTS from introduction thru number 62 click http://humansarenuts.blogspot.com/

63. Humans are crybabies. Crybabies litter the landscape like soiled underwear and you can’t go anywhere without stepping in one, and since I can’t do the crybaby-hop anymore (and hunting them is still illegal) warning you about them is the best thing I can do.

64. There are a lot of folks who think everything is a crisis and complain, bellyache, whine and rage through life, and are, for all intents and purposes, professional crybabies who can’t seem to come to grips with the reality that life will not cater to their every fancied need, want and desire, when in fact, compared to many people, they have good lives, great lives, even awesome lives, better lives than the kings and queens of old and better lives than 97 percent of people on the planet today. Avoid these crazy crybabies at all costs. Don’t be a professional crybaby. Do it for free.

65. You will meet people who turn mean and ugly when they don’t get their way or get what they want. You will work with people who get irritated, upset, angry or violent when life doesn’t meet their expectations. You may even marry a person who turns sour and venomous when vexing things happen to him or her. And you may birth and raise little humans who are never satisfied, who cry, moan and complain and never grow-up. These people are the world’s leading cause of birth-control, divorce, single’s lifestyle, and hermits.

66. If you are not a crybaby you are worth a million Prozacs, and if you are one, please take them.

67. You might be a crybaby if your attitude is graveyard depressed and you think life is a smelly dumpster in a greasy alley and you wear a funeral halo and have a decomposing aura. If that is you, then not only is it not fun being you, it’s not fun being near you or doing anything with you. If you were for sale the only offer you will get is from a hospital seeking diseased organs to examine the affects a bad attitude has on a crybaby body.

68. You might be a crybaby if when you donate your body to science they reject it because it’s dehydrated from a life of crying.

69. A crybaby is like a yo-yo. One moment it’s up, the next it’s down. Yo-Yos hate experiences that do not fulfill their physical, mental, emotional or spiritual needs, wants and desires, and they get angry during experiences that do not validate their beliefs, values, opinions and expectations, which means, planet earth is screwed.

70. You might be a a crybaby if you let your thoughts free-range and feed off your unbridled needs, wants and desires, and you will stay that way until you decide to bridle your self-centered, vain, prideful and egotistical appetites by controlling the thoughts that make you an obnoxious jerk.

71. The most common and unpalatable nut in the nut bowl of life is the crybaby nut who thinks complaining is the pathway to happiness, eternal life and the best way to make friends.

72. A crybaby requires a never ending supply of pacifiers to be happy and if it doesn’t get them it will have a toxic emotional meltdown and poison everyone who couldn’t find the door fast enough.

73. If you are a crybaby and at the astronomical chance you want to stop moaning and groaning when not having sex, I do not have the cure, but I know the cause. However, knowing the cause doesn’t help, but doctors believe they may actually have a cure for crybabies, but it’s only been tested on humans and is not yet approved for mice.

74. If there were fewer crybabies trolling social events (to see who they can feed off) I might go again. When I used to go (and when they started sniveling and complaining) I’d say, “Would you like some cheese with that whine?”

75. Most people who live with a crybaby have mastered the ability to walk on eggs. These crazy people who endure such torture have good reasons for it, which is lucky for crybabies who would otherwise be instant omelets.

76. Being a crybaby is not as bad as being an emotional-drama-pimp. However, if there are energy-vampires, crybabies get more suck per mile than any other suckers.

77. Crybabies have firecrackers for brains and everyone they meet carries a lit match, and if you cross them they will ignite and explode in a New York minute–which is about 3 seconds. When that happens I say, “Please excuse me if I don’t hang around for the show. I have to go throw myself on a cactus.”

78. Most people would rather watch reruns of reruns of bad sequels than face the wrath of a crybaby who didn’t get what it wanted.

79. There are as many varieties of crybabies as there are broken pacifiers, broken homes and destroyed lives, though extreme crybabies don’t notice until they wake up in an old folks home wondering why no one visits them.

80. Sneaky Crybabies are like Halloween tricker-treaters pretending to be who they are not. It isn’t until after they are in a relationship that they take off their masks and you discover you’ve been tricked and you’re the treat (I have no issues with rattle snakes because unlike crybabies they usually warn you before they strike).

81. Whiney Crybabies spray and pollute a room worse than skunk-stink. Whiners dish out disharmony when they pout and mope and sulk. They lack appreciation and are so self-centered they think humans were invented to serve them.

82. Complaining, Fault-finding, Negative Crybabies judge and condemn. They walk and talk unfiltered gloom and doom and are mean-spirited just for the miserable fun they can have. If it’s your misfortune to run into one (and you will) hopefully your car wasn’t hurt; you won’t be as lucky.

83. Mean Crybabies are cruel and brutally shrewd. They build themselves up by mentally, emotionally and physically pulling and pushing and tearing you down. They are the dinky dicked bullies on the playground of life.

84. Con Artist Crybabies lack empathy and use their minds, emotions and bodies to manipulate, trick, scam, bamboozle, deceive, lie and steal. They can’t understand why the people they’ve bamboozled don’t appreciate their free screwing.

85. The most common sound of the crybaby species in the wild is, “LIFE ISN’T FAIR!”

86. When a baby is born it gets spanked and cries. Adult crybabies never got over it. They just keep on crying & get louder and more obnoxious

87. Crybabies tend to be illogical, unreasonable and disconnected from reality, and those are their good points.

88. There are real crybabies and fake crybabies. Real crybabies come with bad-baggage. They arrive here–genetically sired–prideful, arrogant, self-important, overbearing, insulting, abusive, vain, conceited, in love with themselves too much, egotistical, narcissistic, begrudging, resentful, envious, jealous and greedy (other than that they are jerks).

89. Homegrown crybabies are not nearly as bad as birthed crybabies. Homegrown crybabies were programmed to fear life. They think life is trying to hurt them and kill them (which it is) thus they are jumpy, nervous, uptight, stressed-out, high-strung and extremely volatile and live on the edge of an always deteriorating cliff that people would push them off if they could get away with it.

90. If you think life should be painless and people should love you and coddle you in spite of your whining, you might be mentally and emotionally constipated. People put up with a crybaby like they put up with an enema–only when they might explode.

91. Crybabies destroy families, friendships and careers, and then, after destroying their lives, they join Crybaby Anonymous because only other crybabies will suffer their childish, juvenile and destructive behavior (and that’s only when they bring punch and cookies and leave early).

92. You can tell you’re in the presence of a crybaby when you hear their mantra, “Hey...I’m here. Let’s talk about me, about my life. I have needs, wants and desires that need your attention, and I didn’t come here to hear you babble about your life.”

93. The U.S.A. is the Crybaby Capital of the World. I accept the reality that on our worst days we are all crybabies and yet most of us realize we have to try and deal with each other nicely, or use the only option that always works–murder, which, historically, humans are really good at. However, I prefer a smile, a laugh and a mighty chuckle and admit that life is nuts, we’re all nuts and, “Thank you God for death”, even though it may only be a temporary (but we can always hope).